haha.....I just teared a bit when I saw this poster...
Sunday, May 17, 2009
A Broken Piece.
There are some things in life where you get one chance at it.. and if you don't grab it, it's gone forever...
I think, I've encountered so many of that in my life, I wonder, if I grabbed it, what would my life be like now?
I really made a hell lot of mistakes in life, mistakes that I'm paying for dearly now.
I wish I never did certain things I did, but I can't really be sure I would be better off elsewise....
That nagging feeling in you that your potential is utterly wasted?
The sad feeling inside you that nobody will ever really understand...
Even if you have a flaming passion for it, nobody will really understand...
I'm not contented to be "men" (in army terms, anything that isn't a specialist or an officer)... but because of fear of losing something that was temporary dear to me, I gave up that only chance...
Till now, I really believe I could have been an officer.
People always ask.. "What's the big deal about being an officer?", "It's only just one bar on the shoulder!"
No.
Its the experience that I will never be able to face...
It's the untapped zeal that I'll never be able to prove...
It's the fact that I really hate losing.
I hate losing.
I hate losing to the point of insanity.
I lost this battle called National Service. All because I did something without thinking.
BECAUSE I FOLLOWED MY HEART INSTEAD OF MY HEAD.
Illogical reasoning.
Spastic incoherent emotions.
I should strip myself of all these irrelevant feelings...
I really hate myself for being such a weak person...
i really, really, really, really wanna be an officer...
but that chance has flown away, like so many other chances that were given to me.
....
sometimes.... just sometimes... I'll dream that I went through hell, fire, wind and waves to get the epaulet, when people do understand.
when they see, they'll know...
then I'll wake up... and I'll just hate myself for missing that chance I'll never get again..
... *cries*
I think, I've encountered so many of that in my life, I wonder, if I grabbed it, what would my life be like now?
I really made a hell lot of mistakes in life, mistakes that I'm paying for dearly now.
I wish I never did certain things I did, but I can't really be sure I would be better off elsewise....
That nagging feeling in you that your potential is utterly wasted?
The sad feeling inside you that nobody will ever really understand...
Even if you have a flaming passion for it, nobody will really understand...
I'm not contented to be "men" (in army terms, anything that isn't a specialist or an officer)... but because of fear of losing something that was temporary dear to me, I gave up that only chance...
Till now, I really believe I could have been an officer.
People always ask.. "What's the big deal about being an officer?", "It's only just one bar on the shoulder!"
No.
Its the experience that I will never be able to face...
It's the untapped zeal that I'll never be able to prove...
It's the fact that I really hate losing.
I hate losing.
I hate losing to the point of insanity.
I lost this battle called National Service. All because I did something without thinking.
BECAUSE I FOLLOWED MY HEART INSTEAD OF MY HEAD.
Illogical reasoning.
Spastic incoherent emotions.
I should strip myself of all these irrelevant feelings...
I really hate myself for being such a weak person...
i really, really, really, really wanna be an officer...
but that chance has flown away, like so many other chances that were given to me.
....
sometimes.... just sometimes... I'll dream that I went through hell, fire, wind and waves to get the epaulet, when people do understand.
when they see, they'll know...
then I'll wake up... and I'll just hate myself for missing that chance I'll never get again..
... *cries*
Monday, May 11, 2009
Birthday Conclusions!
Gosh... I can't believe I'm 22 already. Jeez.. freaking old.
That means my time left to do alot of things that I want is running out - no thanks to NS wasting my time away.
Haha.. anyway, would like to thank everybody who remembered my birthday and especially those who even bought presents!
xD
I loove presents... =)
This is what I got for my birthday -
1) A HUGE sum of money from my mum and my dad... ok.. not really huge, but its the thought that counts really!
2) An extremely high fidelity Shure In-Ear Headphones that uber rocks. Now I can listen to music on the train without having to strain my ears or blast my iPod to the max.
~ Thanks to the 88 Queendom!
3) A really nice silver-grey Zinc Backpack. Haha.. have been waiting for an opportunity to get one for months, since my last backpack was spoilt.
~ Thanks RJ, XW Mei Mei, Clara and (I'm not really sure who else got it for me... haha.. but thanks!)
4) A pair of ORANGE AND BLACK Nike Training Gloves, top of the range and definitely one of the coolest looking training gloves I've ever seen!
~ Thanks to Brenton!
5) A Canvas belt by FreshBox! Finally! After three years of using the same belt!
~ Thanks to Alvin Leong!
6) A pair of lime green earphones! Totally awesome, the type I'd bring to the beach while I suntan.. x)
~ Thanks to Michelle, Candice and Jennifer!
7) An oreo cheesecake birthday cake and a cool looking personalized shirt with ASH!
~ Thanks to Simon and Haryanto! ASH Rulez!
8) A collector's edition Magic the Gathering, From the Vault Dragons set
~ Thanks to Alvin Yong!
9) The exact Blue GNC Bottle that I was wanting to grab! Ok, I thought there would be the shaker ball inside, but it still looks fantastic!
~ Thanks to Victor! (OKAY! YOUR DEBT DESTROYING MY PREVIOUS BOTTLE WITH A SOCCER BALL IS REPAID! xD)
10) A pair of Calvin Klein Jeans, a Giorgio Armani Belt and a whole lot of other stuffs!
~ Thanks to Nicholas! (haha.... don't tell anyone how you got it xD)
11) A piggy-pillow-speaker that can blast music without having to plug into a power extension.
~ Thanks to Lester!
12) A shirt (I havn't actually gotten it yet! haha)
~ Thanks to Cedric!
And of course, many people who celebrated my birthday for me!! All the surprise parties and the amount of people was really quite shocking..
Lol
=)
Love you guys...
As you grow older, you learn a hell lot of lessons along the way... Some people grow up faster then others, some still cling fast to their childish ways.
But we all must grow up one day.
And when we do, we'll look back at the time, when we laughed and we play.
With a sad smile.
Where has the little kid gone?
Where has all the noncommitted laughter
the safety of being a child...
You wake up now,
No longer with "what am I going to do today"
But with a long list of schedules, appointments
work, and work commitments
Sigh.. I'm all grown up now.
But deep inside, a caged child weeps.
And carefully, but surely, if you looked deep into my eyes
You'd see a glimmer of a once carefree existence
Waving back to you.
=/
emo.
=/
emoing.
=/
ok. emoed.
I've been on my cutting phase for about 2 months now, and my weight has dropped from 68kg down to 62 kg.
Massive muscle loss, water weight loss and fat loss. But still not enough yet.
Damm it.
Currently stuck at 14.8% Body Fat percentage.
I need to hit at least a 13% before I can gradually go on another month of bulking.
My standard routine per week now would be
Monday - Biceps, Core, Deltoids + 30 mins Intense/Moderate Cardio
Tuesday - Chest, Legs, Lats, Traps
Wednesday - Shoulders, Traps, Lats, Triceps, Core + 30 mins Intense/Moderate Cardio
Thursday - Rest
Friday - Chest, Core, Deltoids + 45 mins Moderate Cardio
Saturday - Rest or 1 hour swim/Moderate Cardio based sport
Sunday - Rest or 1 hour swim
Yup, this is my standard cutting routine, albeit gravitating a bit more towards the cardio side...
sigh...
Also involved in a frigging lot of stuff currently
- SMC Band, Main
- SMC Band, Youth
- TAG Publications
- Trevvy Youth Facilitator
- Freelancing Posters for Companies
Haha... but this is still very little compared to what I was loaded with about 6 months ago..
=X
That means my time left to do alot of things that I want is running out - no thanks to NS wasting my time away.
Haha.. anyway, would like to thank everybody who remembered my birthday and especially those who even bought presents!
xD
I loove presents... =)
This is what I got for my birthday -
1) A HUGE sum of money from my mum and my dad... ok.. not really huge, but its the thought that counts really!
2) An extremely high fidelity Shure In-Ear Headphones that uber rocks. Now I can listen to music on the train without having to strain my ears or blast my iPod to the max.
~ Thanks to the 88 Queendom!
3) A really nice silver-grey Zinc Backpack. Haha.. have been waiting for an opportunity to get one for months, since my last backpack was spoilt.
~ Thanks RJ, XW Mei Mei, Clara and (I'm not really sure who else got it for me... haha.. but thanks!)
4) A pair of ORANGE AND BLACK Nike Training Gloves, top of the range and definitely one of the coolest looking training gloves I've ever seen!
~ Thanks to Brenton!
5) A Canvas belt by FreshBox! Finally! After three years of using the same belt!
~ Thanks to Alvin Leong!
6) A pair of lime green earphones! Totally awesome, the type I'd bring to the beach while I suntan.. x)
~ Thanks to Michelle, Candice and Jennifer!
7) An oreo cheesecake birthday cake and a cool looking personalized shirt with ASH!
~ Thanks to Simon and Haryanto! ASH Rulez!
8) A collector's edition Magic the Gathering, From the Vault Dragons set
~ Thanks to Alvin Yong!
9) The exact Blue GNC Bottle that I was wanting to grab! Ok, I thought there would be the shaker ball inside, but it still looks fantastic!
~ Thanks to Victor! (OKAY! YOUR DEBT DESTROYING MY PREVIOUS BOTTLE WITH A SOCCER BALL IS REPAID! xD)
10) A pair of Calvin Klein Jeans, a Giorgio Armani Belt and a whole lot of other stuffs!
~ Thanks to Nicholas! (haha.... don't tell anyone how you got it xD)
11) A piggy-pillow-speaker that can blast music without having to plug into a power extension.
~ Thanks to Lester!
12) A shirt (I havn't actually gotten it yet! haha)
~ Thanks to Cedric!
And of course, many people who celebrated my birthday for me!! All the surprise parties and the amount of people was really quite shocking..
Lol
=)
Love you guys...
As you grow older, you learn a hell lot of lessons along the way... Some people grow up faster then others, some still cling fast to their childish ways.
But we all must grow up one day.
And when we do, we'll look back at the time, when we laughed and we play.
With a sad smile.
Where has the little kid gone?
Where has all the noncommitted laughter
the safety of being a child...
You wake up now,
No longer with "what am I going to do today"
But with a long list of schedules, appointments
work, and work commitments
Sigh.. I'm all grown up now.
But deep inside, a caged child weeps.
And carefully, but surely, if you looked deep into my eyes
You'd see a glimmer of a once carefree existence
Waving back to you.
=/
emo.
=/
emoing.
=/
ok. emoed.
I've been on my cutting phase for about 2 months now, and my weight has dropped from 68kg down to 62 kg.
Massive muscle loss, water weight loss and fat loss. But still not enough yet.
Damm it.
Currently stuck at 14.8% Body Fat percentage.
I need to hit at least a 13% before I can gradually go on another month of bulking.
My standard routine per week now would be
Monday - Biceps, Core, Deltoids + 30 mins Intense/Moderate Cardio
Tuesday - Chest, Legs, Lats, Traps
Wednesday - Shoulders, Traps, Lats, Triceps, Core + 30 mins Intense/Moderate Cardio
Thursday - Rest
Friday - Chest, Core, Deltoids + 45 mins Moderate Cardio
Saturday - Rest or 1 hour swim/Moderate Cardio based sport
Sunday - Rest or 1 hour swim
Yup, this is my standard cutting routine, albeit gravitating a bit more towards the cardio side...
sigh...
Also involved in a frigging lot of stuff currently
- SMC Band, Main
- SMC Band, Youth
- TAG Publications
- Trevvy Youth Facilitator
- Freelancing Posters for Companies
Haha... but this is still very little compared to what I was loaded with about 6 months ago..
=X
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